A Walking Paradox

At Some Point, You Will Probably Feel Offended by Me. Possibly in This Article.

Today, I saw two responses to the reader survey I sent out a few months ago. Surprisingly, I wasn’t notified when the responses came in- ‘twas a lovely surprise!

Lovely…and one of them a bit, and significantly, pokey.

To the individuals who submitted those surveys, especially the one I found pokey- thank you thank you thank you 🙏🏻

I’ll process it here because I imagine this individual isn’t the first (and is far from the last) to feel confused by the paradoxes in my perspective… ☯️

---

I’m very aware of many ways that I’m, seemingly, a walking contradiction. This paradoxical nature has been evident to me for some years…especially in my ability to interact fluidly with, and enjoy, a wide variety of people.

I’ve also been aware for some time that certain people/groups I spend time with (would) have a hard time swallowing certain parts of me, and that other people/groups who receive the aforementioned parts of me fluidly (would) have a hard time swallowing parts that other people/groups absolutely love.

An example, that will be easier to settle with than others… I own two guns and I believe that abortion falls under a woman’s inalienable right of sovereignty.

There’s a lot of nuanced reasoning behind both of these parts of my self.

The rights to gun ownership and abortion, from my perspective, both support individual autonomy.

Do I feel ‘good’ or ‘pleasant’ about the reality that people die in the United States due to their own ignorance or an unfortunately timed mistake with a firearm, or that people’s autonomy is usurped through injury or death because of someone else’s use of a firearm? Absolutely fucking not. Absolutely not.

Do I feel that the solution to these problems is to ban firearms? Yeah, right 🙄

Do I feel that we are doing everything we can to prevent death from firearms, absent taking them away from people? Absolutely not. And I wish there was more focus on actually addressing the core issues than there is on addressing the outcome of the issues. For example, addressing the health and wellness of citizens so people have the neurological, physiological, and psychological resources to navigate life more competently. The population of the United States is ridiculously unhealthy compared to other developed countries- let’s focus on fixing this problem and see how that affects rates of deaths by firearms, hm?

Now, do I feel ‘good’ or ‘pleasant’ about a woman choosing, for whatever reason, to kill a baby developing inside her uterus? You’ve got me fucked up 🤬

And yes, I do see that fetus as a baby. And yes, I can still swallow the idea of ‘allowing’ abortion.

Because, do I feel the ‘solution’ to abortion is illegalizing it and making it as inaccessible as possible? 🤣

Y’all, women have been inducing abortions independently and with the help of herbalists, shamans, and other medicine people for thousands of years. You think illegalizing abortion will end the killing of unborn babies? It won’t. Will it decrease the number of abortions? Probably. Will it increase the number of children born out of and into resentment, drug use, anger, revenge, etc.? Definitely 😔

So, do I feel we are doing everything we can to prevent abortions, absent making them illegal and inaccessible? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Let’s start with comprehensive, and holistic, sex ed in schools. If we’re going to mandate that public education teach the youth of the United States something, let’s include education on the functionality of one of the most primal parts of human nature. And let’s provide this in a supportive way, that builds confidence and security, and is, dare I say, enjoyable. Instead of this one-day-in-middle-school-or-high-school-we-have-a-really-awkward-talk-in-biology-class-nonsense.

Perhaps, if humans understood the value of their sexual experience, they would treat it as such.

Did you know that, in countries that have comprehensive sex ed, abortion rates go waaaaay down? 🧐

Now look, I’m not a fan of hormonal birth control, unconscious sex, or sexualizing children in any way, shape, or form. AND I BELIEVE WE CAN NAVIGATE THE HUGE ISSUE OF SEXUAL IGNORANCE WITHOUT ENCOURAGING ANY OF THESE THINGS.

We might even prevent them…

I believe we’d do well in a system in which abortions are safe, legal, and rare- emphasis on the rare. I totally picked up on this simplified way of expressing my perspective from Dr. Heather Heying- shoutout to her 🙏🏻

Closing down the segment of this article where I let my very human opinions rip… I believe in individual autonomy. I trust that when humans, the vast majority of humans anyway, are given and take responsibility for themselves they end up learning to make decisions that not only benefit them, but others. ‘Enlightened self-interest’ is a concept from evolutionary biology that I’ve spoken to before and continue to stand beside. There is a way of being for each individual that is best for them and also best for the system they belong to, and this way must be discovered through self-reflection.

---

So, look, I’m all about self-awareness, loving acceptance of what is, self-actualization, all that yummy, relatively-easy-for-me-to-talk-about stuff, blah blah blah, YES 🧘🏼‍♀️

And I also have strong opinions about a cultural ecosystem that supports individual sovereignty.

When I say I practice tantra, self-reflection, authenticity, and confronting what is, I’m not blowing smoke up or out of any asses ❗️

If you imagine I’m all ‘light and love’ in the sense that I’m never pokey and don’t talk about uncomfortable things, or that you’ll always be able to predict my perspective based on what I’ve said previously (or based on the opinions of someone else who sometimes says similar things), or that you’ll never feel poked by my content…

Here’s your awakening. Taa-daa… 🧚🏻‍♀️

I look for a middle path, first in myself, and then I look for spaces in my external world that best align with that middle path inside of me. I turn toward, not away. I KEEP SPLITTING HAIRS. I’ve dug into rabbit holes that have shaken the foundation of everything I believed, time after time. There are many perspectives I have that I would gladly trade if given reason to, but I’m not going to feign ignorance or hide in avoidance simply because what I’m confronting is uncomfortable.

I’m a conscious human being. I’m experiencing life as an ANIMAL. I have instincts, emotions, and a mind. I have the ability to influence all of these with my perception and to absolutely transform my energy and my experience ☯️

I turn towards, not away.

And the humans I surround myself with are those who value personal sovereignty, expansion, open-mindedness, and personal responsibility above whether or not we share the same opinions on everything. We use our differences as mirrors to grow.

I’m so always open to refining…but only in light of a larger perspective that encompasses all of what is 🕯️

I say the realities of humans dying via guns and abortion don’t feel good or pleasurable to me, and this is very true.

But I have found peace with these things- a sense of honest neutrality that is not apathy but a deep acceptance of these realities~ that death is a reality~ of human life.

And I have opinions as to how we could lessen suffering and entropy in the human experience and so I contribute to that path, to the best of my ability. If you continue to follow my journey, you’ll hear more of my opinions; some of them will probably surprise you, a few may even shock you.

I aim to not get stuck on groupthink, circular logic, superficial opinions, or bandaid approaches… And I certainly hope that you, the reader, have some different opinions from mine because I want no clones.

And, for goodness sake (literally), can we please converse about our various opinions and parse the nuance together? We don’t need to all agree. That would be a stagnant reality, one too fragile to manifest.

PLEASE, form your own opinions. And let’s discuss and debate and be curious enough about what’s outside our own boxes to wonder, “Why do they think that way?” ESPECIALLY when others’ opinions run absolutely counter to our own.

I believe we’re all walking paradoxes if we dig deep into self-awareness and embody what is. I pray that the coming generations understand the irreplaceable value of nuanced thinking, self-knowing, sovereignty, presence, and inner peace ❤️‍🔥

Thank you, again, to the individual who sparked this article. I deeply value and feel so complimented by your honesty, as you vulnerably expressed your confusion at the paradoxes you’ve observed in my nature. I’m always changing, learning, and expanding, am human like everyone else, and this outlet brings ~whoever chooses to come along~ for the ride 🪷

P.S. Mystery survey taker who I’m sure knows I’m talking to them- you’re welcome to email me directly to create a dialogue around the paradoxes you’re observing and the confusion you feel. I’m very open.