Letting Desire Build—And Enjoying It!
Letting the Ache Breathe: Feminine Magnetism in Action
*Crafted through thoughtful collaboration between Rosey and ChatGPT.
Desire might be the most potent emotion on the planet ❤️🔥
But while we’ve built countless systems to manage fear, we rarely talk about how to be with desire.
We’re taught to suppress it. Or to chase it. To deny it. Or indulge it. Rarely are we taught to hold it.
But what if the secret to magnetism, fulfillment, and spiritual maturity… isn’t in what we do with our desire—but in how present we are with it?
Not repressing. Not pursuing. Simply witnessing.
This, I’ve found, is the most powerful—and underdeveloped—skill of all. 💫
The Longing That Shaped Me 💘
My earliest memories of raw, delicious longing come from childhood.
There was a boy I was absolutely obsessed with for seven years. I mean full-on heart-racing, daydream-scripting, slow-burn yearning. But I never told him. I never flirted. I’m sure he knew; I’m sure he could feel it 😂 But I never even hinted. I simply… held it.
It was the best kind of agony. 🙃 The kind where your whole body is lit with aliveness, even though nothing is “happening.”
Looking back, I see that this was one of the most feminine relationships to desire I’ve ever had: receptive, full-bodied, and totally unattached to action.
Fast forward to my 20s, and that dynamic flipped entirely.
I got bold. I flirted openly. I pursued what I wanted—sometimes subtly, sometimes directly. I became a woman who made things happen.
And it worked.
In both my personal and professional life, I found that taking initiative—stepping into masculine pursuit energy—often led to success. I built businesses. I got lovers. I felt powerful.
But like all pendulums, the swing eventually reached its limit.
When Pursuit Stops Working 💔
Enter: Brandon. 😅
The old energy stopped working, slowly but surely. I found myself initiating constantly, chasing, craving attention… and feeling deeply unfulfilled.
He wasn’t coming toward me in the ways I wanted. And the more I chased, the more the polarity collapsed.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love me. It was that there was no space for him to desire me.
And so, recently, I’ve been practicing something radical:
I let myself want him—without acting on it. I hold the ache. I let the tension build. I smile through the longing instead of using it as a cue to do something.
And quickly, our relationship is changing.
He’s initiating more. I feel wanted. The polarity has returned, stronger than ever. 🌀
Most importantly, I’m starting to enjoy the wanting itself.
Sacred Tension vs. Suppression
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about repression.
Suppressing desire isn’t powerful—it’s fear in disguise.
But sacred tension? That’s a whole different realm. That’s the feminine art of holding desire like a chalice—without spilling a drop.
It’s the ability to feel everything… without needing to relieve it. To be so turned on by life that you don’t need to have what you want to enjoy wanting it. ✨
This principle applies to more than sex.
It applies to dreams, career paths, creative projects, places you long to visit, people you’re magnetized by.
Sometimes the thing we desire most isn’t ripe yet. And rather than trying to force it, we can learn to savor the space between now and the thing. We can learn to strengthen our own magnet, instead of zooming toward what we’re attracted to like a frantic puppy 🧲
The Energetics of Magnetism 🌹
Feminine energy doesn’t chase—it attracts.
It draws in by becoming—not by doing.
And yet so many of us (especially women in a masculine-skewed world) have been conditioned to believe that if we’re not pursuing, we’re being passive. Weak. Irrelevant.
But holding desire—without collapsing into need—is one of the strongest things we can do.
It cultivates:
🔹 Self-control and inner containment
🔹 Energetic refinement instead of emotional leakage
🔹 Deeper polarity in romantic relationships
🔹 A life of intentional action rather than reaction
It’s not about never initiating—it’s about knowing when not to.
Desire Isn’t a Signal to Act—It’s an Invitation to Presence 🧘♀️
When we treat desire like a cue to act immediately, we weaken our capacity for sacred timing.
Frequent release—whether sexual, emotional, or creative—can actually dilute polarity.
We forget how to hold charge. We forget how to wait. We forget how to trust.
But when we allow desire to simmer, we build something rare:
🌿 Magnetism.
🔥 Resonance.
💎 Depth.
And ironically, when we stop chasing what we want, it often starts coming toward us. 😉
Everyday Energetic Foreplay
This isn’t just about romantic relationships.
This is about being turned on by life.
🌀 Waiting to launch that offering until it’s aligned—not just because it’s ready.
🌀 Savoring the vision of a future home or opportunity without needing to “make it happen.”
🌀 Feeling the hum of possibility in a new connection without needing to define or grasp it.
Holding desire—without demanding fulfillment—is energetic foreplay with the universe.
It’s an act of trust. Of timing. Of self-respect.
What This Practice Has Taught Me 💭
In love, in work, in creativity—this practice has changed me.
I’m no longer feeling something is ‘wrong’ when I’m not desiring to take a particular action; I just lean into trusting divine timing. ⏳
Holding my desire for Brandon without needing to act has brought more play, more polarity, and more pleasure into our dynamic.
He shows up more. I feel more wanted. And I trust myself more—not just to have what I want, but to hold it well.
This, I’m realizing, is what maturity in desire looks like:
✨ Knowing the difference between impulse and longing.
✨ Trusting that what’s meant will unfold—especially if you don’t try to rush it.
✨ Allowing your turn-on to teach you—not just move you.
An Invitation to You 🕊️
What if you didn’t rush to make the thing happen? What if you let yourself want it—fully—without trying to “get” it? What if you trusted that the ache itself was part of the medicine?
What if how you hold desire… is part of how you’re becoming?
This isn’t about never acting. This is about knowing the power of not yet.
So here’s your permission:
✨ Let the desire build.
✨ Let the ache stretch you.
✨ Let the longing teach you how to love better, live fuller, and trust deeper.
You don’t have to chase it. You don’t have to repress it. You get to enjoy it.
That’s the magic. 💋
💌 If This Stirred Something In You…
If this article opened something in you—emotionally, sensually, spiritually—please share it. 🌹
🔥 Send it to a friend who’s learning to hold their own power.
🔥 Post it for those learning to trust the ache.
🔥 Help me spread this message of sacred desire—not just for another human, but for life itself.
Your shares mean more than you know. 💫
Thank you for being part of this space.
Hi Rose! I'm a journalist at New York Magazine trying to get in touch for a piece I'm writing. I sent you an email and Instagram DM. I'm at angelina.chapin@nymag.com.