Traveling tends to bring out all my control tactics. Though I love spontaneity, excitement, adventure, newness, and play, I can be very particular about the circumstances under which I allow these qualities and feelings to arise. It’s a growing edge, for sure.
Perhaps that’s why I was so chaotic in my decisiveness when Brandon and Joe invited me to go to Maui with them. My boyfriend and close friend had been offered work on the island, in exchange for pay, lodging, some meals, and activities.
What a dream, right?! Free trip to Maui, an island paradise. Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of that??
Well, I created many reasons not to go- ‘needing’ to work, taking advantage of having the house to myself, fears of unknowns, etc.
In a positive mindset moment though, I agreed to buy a ticket ✈️
In a moment of vulnerability and humility, I asked Brandon for help covering miscellaneous expenses while we were on the island, so I could feel confident taking time off from work 💸
The more I talked to friends about the trip, the more suggestions I got for where to go and what to do on the island, the more promises I received for the magic in store, and the more magical stories I heard from others’ times on Maui.
So, moving through the hesitations and letting my mounting excitement grow, I boarded a plane on February 4th, aiming for the Pacific island paradise…
Brandon and Joe, who had flown out a few days earlier to work, met me at the airport with smiles, hugs, tans, and a poke bowl 🍣
It took me about three days to adjust to being on the island and reconnect with my center. I was crying, projecting, and defensive frequently. The irony of this was radically apparent to me. Why, in the most beautiful place I had ever been, did I feel so miserable, twisted, and powerless? The self-persecution echoed loudly in my mind.
Solid, compassionate friends used to be hard to find, but no more! Brandon and the friends with us on the island held me so lovingly. Generally, if I’m feeling out of sorts, I feel loved by just being welcome in a space as I am. Simply feeling welcome in all my phases helps my nervous system regulate. By the end of that week, I felt alive and at home (relatively speaking 😅).
We had the most amazing times…
I finally confronted, in real life, a long-held fear of whales and the deep ocean.
I’ve had this hilarious and wildly irrational fear of whales since I was about five. It’s permeated my nightmares, greatly inhibited my Zoo Tycooning, and, as I got older, transferred onto the deep ocean 🐋
I told Brandon earlier this winter that I wanted to confront this fear, face-to-face.
So, we did! We booked seats on a sailboat to take us out to Molokini Crater (just west off the coast of Maui) for snorkeling. We were told we would likely see at least one pod of whales on our way out to the crater or when sailing back to the mainland.
WE SAW SO MANY WHALES 🐳
Dozens of humpbacks graced the Pacific Ocean as our boat traversed the 10-15 miles between Maui and Molokini Crater. We saw calves, adolescents, and (huge!) adults. Tails, flippers, spouts, backs, and bellies were all gifted to us. Our boat spent 15 minutes or so at a standstill, listening to the loud calls of the oceanic mammals swimming just below. According to the captain and crew, the degree to which the creatures made themselves known was quite unusual.
I like to think they did it for me. As a token of friendliness and playfulness, they said, “We’re here and we love you! Thank you for coming to see us.”
We also saw a couple of lovely dolphins, who skipped alongside our boat for a ways 🐬
Snorkeling at Molokini Crater was the highlight of my time in Hawaii. Listening to the whales beneath the surface, at the bottom of a dive, was profound 🤿
After this excursion, I felt welcome by the island. The good times rolled…
We saw amazing live (country!) music twice. Did y’all know Maui was settled by cowboys and is super country? Picking up on this vibe was delicious. Talk about a perfect place for me- tropical beach + country + hippie land 🤠
We went to nude beaches, hung out and danced at drum circles, ate amazing poke bowls, drove halfway to Hana, and flew in a helicopter over Maui and Molokai (saw dozens more whales from above!).
The views were like nothing I’d ever seen, the atmosphere so cathartic… I feel Maui pulled repressed emotions out of me, like a heightened effect of walking barefoot on the earth, the island grounded me… That last day or so, I was loose as a goose 😜 And peaceful and centered 🧘🏼♀️
I had blossomed anew 🌺
It felt in flow to leave when we did, though I- like, I imagine, many people who visit the island- was already envisioning how I might move there. I left feeling complete, perfect, myself 🌟
On the plane rides back, Brandon, Joe, and I all sat together! This was great, significant fun for me, as I’d never flown with a partner before. Gosh, those rides coming back sure did pass more quickly 😂
Maui was an amazing reset. Though the business of the mainland has tempted me to get off my throne a few times, I’m so far managing to stay seated 👑
I feel I’ve brought Maui back with me. Or, rather, Maui helped me reconnect to a deeper part of myself. She reminds me that slow and steady wins the race, of my impermanence, yet my importance, and of the value of prioritizing harmony and honesty.
Not much matters. Though everything does. Everything will pass. And everything can be learned from ☯️
And here we go, back to the paradoxes 😁
Aloha to all! More to come! 💦
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P.S. If you’d like to see more pictures- and hear and see the whales and dolphins- there are several posts on my IG (@naturallyrosey) and Facebook (Rose Leopold), publically available 📸